This morning after dropping my daughter at school, I noticed a young man sitting on his bike immediately after a blind turn. I thought it is a dangerous place to standby and out of genuine concern advised him politely to move away. He mumbled something inaudibly which I presumed as a 'Thank you'. Usually that's what people expect when we help someone. A minute later from across the road I found same man in same posture and same place not moving an inch. Then I realized what he might have mumbled is 'it's none of your business'. It is an unsolicited advice even though given in best interest. He is evidently not interested in it. It made me think, why do I do it despite being rejected in similar fashion time and again. May be it is something to do with my personality , may be a defect in my making or growing up.
If you thought this happened only because I am a stranger to the young man, you are mistaken. It happens with known people as well. I gave an unsolicited advice to a friend who is living outside his earnings on credit (credit cards , loans etc., ) I was genuinely concerned about the kind of lifestyle and financial havoc he is into. He did not appreciate it. I have never ending debates with my wife, which revolve around why we should remain our ethical stand irrespective of the non-matching behaviors from other people. Her point is you cant remain Gandhian in today's dog-eat-dog world. She may be right from her view point, but I always hold contrarian view and an unsolicited advice in my back-pocket ready to invite trouble.
Professional environments were relatively better conducive, how ever a guy like me can invite trouble every where. There are times when I took "Speak Up" feedback a bit more seriously and started speaking up. Little did I realize that nobody asked me to solicit my opinion on a recently rolled out policy, decision made by a senior boss., The list is endless. I thought people appreciate the fact that concerns are not my personal rather general with earnest concern for people. Sometimes I got away with it but on other occasions ended up sucking embarrassment that I was not expecting. I was expecting a thank you instead. :-)
It got me thinking, where is a the problem? Do I represent the diversity in nature or do I represent the devil' advocate that I am not expected to be?
If you thought this happened only because I am a stranger to the young man, you are mistaken. It happens with known people as well. I gave an unsolicited advice to a friend who is living outside his earnings on credit (credit cards , loans etc., ) I was genuinely concerned about the kind of lifestyle and financial havoc he is into. He did not appreciate it. I have never ending debates with my wife, which revolve around why we should remain our ethical stand irrespective of the non-matching behaviors from other people. Her point is you cant remain Gandhian in today's dog-eat-dog world. She may be right from her view point, but I always hold contrarian view and an unsolicited advice in my back-pocket ready to invite trouble.
Professional environments were relatively better conducive, how ever a guy like me can invite trouble every where. There are times when I took "Speak Up" feedback a bit more seriously and started speaking up. Little did I realize that nobody asked me to solicit my opinion on a recently rolled out policy, decision made by a senior boss., The list is endless. I thought people appreciate the fact that concerns are not my personal rather general with earnest concern for people. Sometimes I got away with it but on other occasions ended up sucking embarrassment that I was not expecting. I was expecting a thank you instead. :-)
It got me thinking, where is a the problem? Do I represent the diversity in nature or do I represent the devil' advocate that I am not expected to be?
