Women employment -- My views

Disclaimer: The views expressed are purely my own and have no intent of getting in to any (never ending) argument of whether they are right or wrong.

People who know me from close quarters (which includes my wife and sister) tend to think of me as a staunch critic of women employment. My constant opposition to their personal situations when ever they were planning to get into employment could be the reason. Also usually people generalize the particular situation they see, putting behind the specific details. So wanted to put my thoughts together.

I am for it :

1. When the women doing the job is absolute essential to make both ends meet. With current inflation levels and the cost living, the bread earning is getting tougher for the head of the family when there are more mouths to feed and more requests to cater to. Women stepping forward to share the responsibility is a welcome move.

2. When a woman is specialist/skilled in a particular field and wants to build a career in that field and make a mark both to herself in particular and the society in general. We would not have heard of kalpana Chawla if she confined herself to house.

3. When a woman wants to take a less engaging job to make her spare time to productive use. Her job could mean self employment as well.

4. When there are dependent parents for the woman who needs to be looked after. Now-a-days, girls are being raised the same way as boys by parents, providing them with quality education. In such a case it is not unreasonable expectation that if the girls parents are in finacial doldrum, girl stepping up and contributing to them from her salary. (like the way boy does take care of his parents)

I am not so for it:

1. When a woman wants to take up "a job", just because all her other friends are doing a job. This I mark as peer pressure job or self inflicted pressure job.

2. When she wants to add to the 7/8 digit salary her husband is drawing, esp when she wants/needs to relocate to place away from family to earn that extra buck. This is just greed and there will be no end to this. There are many compromises one has to make on family side to earn that little extra buck like unattended children left to day cares, lack of time together for the couple themselves as both are tired at the end of every work day.

3. Financial freedom. Well I have a mixed stand here. I assume the couple united in holy matrimony are adequately close to have control/access to partners financial assets. I am not denying that practically the earning member might have a bigger say in financial decisions. But I would prefer to think that both converge and agree up on a particular decision. Personally my reaction is same if my wife gifts me a wrist watch using the money she saved from household budget or from the money she
earned by herself. Pleasure lies in the fact that she gifted it than thinking of "whose" money it is. :-)

There can be many more scenarios but I just wrote what came to my mind at the moment. To me understanding "why" is starting point and I do hold an orthodox view that if there is no need for a certain lady to hold a job (apart from peer pressure or self inflicted pressure), I would instead prefer that job to go to needy person which can help him/her support the family.

Premarital Sex - My View

Not usually I try to touch up on topics that are controversial in nature but here I go with one that easily attracts criticism. Just as I always believed, like every one else I had my own right to hold and express my views. Thank God Government did not reduce the age limit for sex by mutual consent. If it had, what it eventually means is the governing body itself encouraging premarital sex legally as marriageable age is 18years. Even today I think premarital sex is not a crime from legal point of view but from ethical stand point it surely is.

1. Youth can easily get carried away thinking they found right person and engage in sex only to repent later that they did commit a mistake. Any person with  conscience will regret for life the mistake done.
2. It is a clear case of cheating spouse if the person fails to marry the one with whom he/she had premarital sex. It is not easy trauma to go through when person discovers that his/her has cheated her/him and usually these things are concealed during marriage.
3. The indulgence can sometimes lead to blackmails at later point time and thus shattering future life for sake few minutes of physical pleasure.
4. There are innumerable sadists in the world who secretly record the intercourse and circulate it on the internet. Thousands (if not lakhs) of MMS scandals uploaded in internet are evidence of just that. This turns the intercourse from a private affair to public entertainment.
5. There is a risk to marriage life of indulgence in premarital affair with a person who is not your spouse. It can lead to many consequences like divorce, unsatisfactory marriage full of quarrels, or even at times suicides by the victim or person indulged in premarital. 

Irony of this entire situation lies in the fact that we had a generation of social reformers who opposed child marriages and now we have a new generation reformers who want the age limit for sex by mutual consent must be reduced.

Yama Niyamas

This is a share froma website I have recently got a chance to read. Courtesy about.com\hinduism

Yamas or Restraints or Don't




1. The first restraint, Noninjury (ahimsa) - not injuring or harming others by thought, word, or deed.

2. The second restraint, Truthfulness (Satya) - refraining from lying and betraying promises

3. The third restraint, Nonstealing (asteya) - neither stealing nor coveting nor entering into debt

4. The fourth restraint, Sexual Purity (brahmacharya) - divine conduct, controlling lust by remaining celibate when single leading to faithfulness in marriage.

5. The fifth restraint, Patience (kshama) - restraining intolerance with people and impatience with circumstances.

6. The sixth restraint, Steadfastness (dhriti) - overcoming non-perseverance, fear, indecision, inconstancy and changeableness.

7. The seventh restraint, Compassion (daya) - conquering callous, cruel and insensitive feelings toward all beings.

8. The eighth restraint, Honesty (arjava) - straightforwardness, renouncing deception and wrongdoing.

9. The ninth restraint, Moderate Diet (mitahara) - neither eating too much nor consuming meat, fish, fowl or eggs.

10. The tenth restraint, Purity (saucha) - avoiding impurity in body, mind and speech.





Niyamas or Observances or Do's



1. The first observance, Remorse and Modesty (hri) - being modest and showing shame for misdeeds.

2. The second observance, Contentment (santosha) - seeking joy and serenity in life

3. The third observance, Giving or charity (dana) - giving generously without thought of reward.

4. The fourth observance, Faith (astikya) - believing firmly in god, gods, guru and the path to enlightenment

5. The fifth observance, Worship of the Lord (Ishvarapujana) - the cultivation of devotion through daily worship and meditation.

6. The sixth observance, Scriptural Listening (siddhanta sravana) - studying the teachings and listening to the wise of one's lineage.

7. The seventh observance, Cognition (mati) - developing a spiritual will and intellect with the guru's guidance

8. The eighth observance, Sacred Vows (vrata) - fulfilling religious vows, rules and observances faithfully

9. The Ninth Observance, Recitation or Incantation (japa) - chanting mantras daily

10. The tenth observance, Austerity and Sacrifice (tapas) - performing sadhana, penance, tapas, and sacrifice.