Human Touch

 Today while availing Urban Company service for getting my Haircut done, I felt a bit odd to get the feel of hand wrapped in rubber on my chin. It didn’t feel that odd, I got when I met the dentist to check on my teeth, dentist adorned in PPE kit met us in the cabin. Indians are brought up in touchy feely culture where lot of communication happens through non-verbal communication like facial expressions, laugh, pats, handshakes etc.,  Post Covid era, masked faces covering most of the facial expressions and gloved hands reducing the human touch became the norm all over the world.

If someone is thinking this is going to be a temporary phenomenon, are definitely underestimating the long term lifestyle impacts covid would permanently leave a mark, when it leaves. We would get used to social distancing coming into cultures that thrive on personal intimacy in                 closely knit relationships. We might as well get used to masks to some extent when meeting strangers or visiting populous places. We might forget handshakes and pats completely or meet gloved hands when we do in near term.

Like mentioned above, human touch is one aspect that we are missing in the middle of the pandemic especially when we need it most.  Take for example, a covid patient would long for support, someone to lean on, someone to give reassuring pat, or someone to wipe tears.  But given the contagious nature of the disease, you are going to get them the least. Without the human touch, the reassurances family and friends give might sound shallow but that’s all they can afford to give unfortunately.

Human touch also means empathy and touch of humanity. In the current situation, we all need to pay explicit attention to fellow humans both within family, friends or work colleagues. We need to strive as much as possible to understand the challenges they go through and be kind to each other. We may not be able to give commercial benefit to all but kind words are not expensive, so use them generously.

The First Week

I knew it all the while or at least I had the feeling that I knew it (may be a hindsight bias). Our generation and our parents were lucky so far that they have not really witnessed a crisis of this scale. Well there were some economic slowdowns, some personal setbacks but we never really seen what freedom struggle looks like or a situation of world war could have been. As India fights the impact of Covid-19 by announcing the lock down, this is the closest to a crisis we would witness in our life time. So I thought it is worthwhile to document some bits of feeling.

Slight Panic:  Well to be honest, I felt a bit of panic. Why would not I? I am deemed head of the family with a wife and 2 small kids to provision for and protect. Also it happens that my old parents (including father recovering from a major surgery) are also to be looked after in this crisis. Slight panic is natural. Ahead of the lock down, couple days prior, I did my share of panic buying of provisions enough to last for 3-4 weeks.(reason1 for my opening statement)

Hectic weekend: Weekend prior to the lock down, whole of our management teams were quite busy to understand what it means to our teams. To be honest, it didn’t feel like a weekend as we were on for most part of the week. I still cant imagine, what I would have done if my team mates didn’t have equipment to work from home. (reason2 for my hindsight bias)

Working from Home: If I would have worked as hard as I have during last week, I might have become a CXO by now J. Jokes apart, initial week of full work from home, teething issues, inadequacy of experience, requests from management for impact analysis, colleagues trying to ask for help, too many twists, many unreasonable expectations - all meant one thing, more than I usually do in a typical week. Being not a great fan of work, I am hoping this would change soon.

Kids: Kids are great. They are omnipotent. They can relieve stress, they can induce in the same magnitude. When you are on an important call, when you least expect it, they can come and press disconnect button on your headset. They most certainly can! At the same time, when you are off a point less meeting, they come innocently ask for a biscuit or something as if that’s the most important thing in the world.  More often it feels like yes it’s the more important than the meeting we are on.

Level headedness:  Well this is the most important characteristic in life. There will be highs and lows. Usually people walk with bloated chest and heads held high when things are going in favor. On the other hand, people stoop heads below shoulder, when the tide turns. We all need to have a level head, irrespective of what’s going on around. This is the time when we need to collect ourselves and show our strength when we face an adversary that we can fight it. Taking all precautions, staying put and staying home is the need of the hour.

Learning: Signed up for FT trial for  one month for $1 and trying to read markets across the world and response to Covid-19.  Read 2 chapters of Accelerate book on Devops. 

Optimistic: When this is all over, I would want to narrate the tales of how usually frivolous characters turned into conservative when it comes to using provisions and how scared we were but tried to maintain balance. Hopefully humans will reach to a solution in the war with the invisible to naked eye enemy soon.

As we end first week, got some time to rest and geared up what new week brings.

The Unjust Divide

Not a big fan of controversial topics but one thing baffles me about India is the huge perception/real divide between the Hindu and Muslim communities.  

 ·       In school days we had Mohammad Rafi, whose mother shouldered burden of feeding kids after his father’s death. He wanted to settle in life soon so that he can help his mother financially. Then there was Madhavan, whose father lost fortune in business and he wanted to do better in life to support his family.

·       We also had a gullible Imran and Raman, who were close buddies and marched all of us to the house of a pretty girl in school, only to be intimidated by her big brother.

·       We then had Praveen and Hidayat, who fiercely competed with us to become school topper in 10^th.

·       In college days, we had Shahid who used to study with me with a common ambition of getting a good job in campus placements. When Shahid fell short of funds to pay fee, it was Hari who helped him with a loan.

·       We then had Basha who used to tutor us in Biology course, who in turn got tutored by Chalapthi or ramki for math where he needed help.

·       We also had Rafi who partnered with Ramki who is building fintech in India and working with Global MNC.

·       In our colony, we have Mr. Jaishakar who goes about his life as blissfully as Mr Khan, who exchange cordial relationship.

Well as you can see in the above examples, there is so much similarity between a common hindu and muslim. But we unjustly draw a divide basis religion, as if they are poles apart. I don’t see any commonality between Rafi and a certain MIM Leader, whom we try to see in same lens. Nor any comparison between Madhavan and RSS leader (or some hindu leader).  Our basic premise that muslims have lot in common with the leaders who pretend to work for them (likewise hindu leaders) needs review. There is a huge divide between them and the leaders who vouch for them in terms of financial, social, political status but we unjustly put them into same club. Just like an average hindu, a muslim wants to live peacefully providing for his family and trying to improve day by day. We are getting divided for political aspirations of few leaders who don’t really care about us, which is a pity.

We all need to realize it and bridge the perception/real gap to strive live in harmony.

Role of Neutrals in a Polarized World

India was historically country with less political polarization. This trait gave raise many regional parties and national parties to coexist in the largest democracy of the world. Each of states were ruled by different parties owing to dynamics of the region, preferences of people, charisma of the leaders, and issues that were prevalent. This is good sign that there is good portion of people who are open to choosing option that they think is suited to run the state. Similarly at nation level even though Congress ruled the country for most part, there were enough evidences that nation did not give clear mandate and the choice kept waving  basis the agenda and policies backed by the parties that came to power.

In recent past there seems to be a change in demographic on the political affinity attribute. Noticeable polarization is being observed in people and the neutrals are being reduced to a small group. Given this shift neutrals are now entrusted with responsibility of ensuring they analyse and read the situation and decide well, this is not easy task.

•  Resisting Strong urge to be part of a gang – Like every one neutrals may get sense of being wanted, part of a gang. This can lead them to sway one way or other thus shrinking the group even further. It is an urge that needs to be resisted.
• Social Media distractions – With explosion of social media we get fed what they want us to hear. We are continuously being fed half information, fake news and some logical lies which distract you and try to pull towards a gang.
• Biased Media – Even the most lauded new papers and TV subscribe to one ideology or the other and deliberately or otherwise feed us with biases info
• Lack of proper analysis – with so much information to grasp it is not an easy  task to comprehend fully and decide. There is chance of misunderstanding/misinterpretation of information at disposal.
•  Blind followership – Some neutrals due to limitation in point#4, resort to follow an intellectual blindly with a view that I am sure he would have thought through this.
• Apathy – Over a period of time, some neutrals lose hope and become apathetic towards the process and system 

Neutrals in fact decide the fate of the nation as their votes are decisive and crucial for fair outcomes in democracy. They must understand the value of their contributions and try and resist above traps to make the nation better.

Age is just a number

Age is just a number is a catchy phrase. But Roger Federer proved it again. Nearing 38 many would retire from demanding professional tennis and go for less physically demanding job like coaching or commentary. Roger has other plans and defies all trend by trying to become oldest ever to win a Grandslam title. He did not succeed, unfortunately, but in the process produced marvellous tennis any player would dream of in the final against world number 1 Novak.

Tennis as a sport is cruel at times. In a 5 setter where players have shared 2 sets each and standing at 12-12 games in decider, why should there be one winner and one loser? Instead they can declare both as joint winners. But the irony is one of the two gentlemen who produced such exceptional tennis had to lose, what a pity!

Roger’s journey to final did not come by chance. Unlike earlier years when he reached finals without dropping a set, this time he faced young generation players and the long time rivals during the course who did grind him enough. He has to face long time rivals Nadal and Novak in semis and finals, who are presently ranked 1 and 2 ahead of Roger.

What pains Roger fans more is that he had his chances. He won 2 sets convincingly and all the sets he lost ended in tie-breakers, which tells how close he was to win. He also had two championship points in his serve at disposal but credit to Novak who snatched victory from that position.

To those who were waiting to watch Roger extend his Grandslam tally to 21 and Wimbledon count to 9, Sunday night has ended in disappointment. He might have lost the match, but won many hearts. As Roger himself put it “I hope I give other people the chance to believe that at 37 it’s not over yet”. No Roger, its not over yet, we await you at US open, then at Australian , then at Roland Garros and then at Wimbledon. Year after year until you decide to move on. Hail Roger, The Greatest Tennis Player of All Time!

Unsolicited Advice

This morning after dropping my daughter at school, I noticed a young man sitting on his bike immediately after a blind turn. I thought it is a dangerous place to standby and out of genuine concern advised him politely to move away. He mumbled something inaudibly which I presumed as a 'Thank you'. Usually that's what people expect when we help someone. A minute later from across the road I found same man in same posture and same place not moving an inch. Then I realized what he might have mumbled is 'it's none of your business'. It is an unsolicited advice even though given in best interest. He is evidently not interested in it. It made me think, why do I do it despite being rejected in similar fashion time and again. May be it is something to do with my personality , may be a defect in my making or growing up.

If you thought this happened only because I am a stranger to the young man, you are mistaken. It happens with known people as well. I gave an unsolicited advice to a friend who is living outside his earnings on credit (credit cards , loans etc., ) I was genuinely concerned about the kind of lifestyle and financial havoc he is into. He did not appreciate it. I have never ending debates with my wife, which revolve around why we should remain our ethical stand irrespective of the non-matching behaviors from other people. Her point is you cant remain Gandhian in today's dog-eat-dog world. She may be right from her view point, but I always hold contrarian view and an unsolicited advice in my back-pocket ready to invite trouble.

Professional environments were relatively better conducive, how ever a guy like me can invite trouble every where. There are times when I took "Speak Up" feedback a bit more seriously and started speaking up. Little did I realize that nobody asked me to solicit my opinion on a recently rolled out policy, decision made by a senior boss., The list is endless. I thought people appreciate the fact that concerns are not my personal rather general with earnest concern for people. Sometimes I got away with it but on other occasions ended up sucking embarrassment that I was not expecting. I was expecting a thank you instead. :-)

It got me thinking, where is a the problem? Do I represent the diversity in nature or do I represent the  devil' advocate that I am not expected to be? 

Life Skills for a Professional (Part II)

This is continuation of the blogpost I started as essential for survival in today’s world for working professional

Networking:

It is not what you know but who you know will take you heights in career. There are many talented folks waiting for opportunities while there are many others who get just because of the connections they have made. There are many other benefits of networking.

Being a part of good professional network grants you access to wealth of information easily, which otherwise takes painstaking efforts to gather. An informal connection can help break the barriers of bureaucracy helping us in accomplishing our goals. If you have a strong connection with some powerful person in the organization, your image among the people would change.  

Reading:

In today’s world not knowing is perceived as a crime. In order to know the best avenue is reading. Selective reading about your area of business is minimum required where as a more generic reading can broaden your mind and though process and makes you a better person.

Well, the common question asked is, can this be monetized. Sometimes yes but most often it gives us intangible benefits that cannot be really quantified. A well learned person gets respect from others. He also will find his confidence levels improved and will be ready for challenges in life. It also gives him maturity to deal with difficult situations life throws at us. This is one unique skill that can be cultivated without help from anyone.

Introspection:

We all rely on Annual Performance Appraisals, for identifying areas of improvement. Its experience that the feedback we await for year is grossly inadequate, outdated, and sometimes not even correct. Also it happens in some cases that we work under selfish bosses who care only about themselves and have no interest in our development. How do we tackle this shortfall? Introspection at regular intervals can help in bridging the gap.

What is introspection really? It is critically reviewing our performance against the goals we had in our vision. Here we have to be brutally honest about it as giving benefit of doubt in our favor is not going to help really. This has to be done at regular intervals such as biweekly, month or quarter. We need to make sure we note down the corrective actions and work up on them before next review. This process when done on a sustained basis, can provide magical results to your life and career.