Women -- On Eve of Women's day

On the eve of Women's Day wanted to write something about them. I didnt know where to start but here I start. I was most often misinterpreted as too conservative outlook on life and extending the same to views on women. On the contrary I have great respect for the women and will try to depict my views.

1. Women form very important part of our lives. Life is difficult to imagine with out them right from nurturing the infact in the form of a caring mother, a sibling and close buddy in growing up, a supportive partner in life, a venturing
colleague sharing work load in march to success, to a daughter whose life we want to secure and protect.

2. Mother happens to be playing a more crucial role in building character of the person. We would have not seen Sivaji's, Swami Vivekananda's, Rabindranath Tagore or Mahatma Gandhi, if their mothers did not play their part so well.

3. The Siblings and childhood buddy's are all the way helping us in petty as well as huge problems that put us off many a times. Their softer and relatively mature touch to problems have let us in feeling of awe many a times as we grew up.

4. In undeniable fact that any great thing a man accomplishes would have been impossible, if not for the support and encouragement he receives from the wife. Many sacrifices made behind the scenes by the family and stable family life are usual commonalities shared by many successful men.

5. Having worked in different organizations for over a decade, I can very confidently say, the women colleagues bring all together fresh perspective to work. I always admire the way they perform their roles so exceptionally well at both work and home. And more importantly they rarely complain about it.

6. My real planning for life (including financial/career) only started in full flow after I have seen cute little face of my daughter. Some new feeling of responsibility that I needed to do all in my capacity to secure her future started that moment.

Few words of caution/conservatism:

World has transformed today and is no longer an ideal place to live. I would want women to be more vigilant in life.

1. Be careful about the camouflages. They on the outside look like nicer people but have got evil intentions that are hard to predict.

2. Be little conservative. Conservatism might look like curtailing you in demonstrating your full capability. But realize that it is infact a mechanism to avoid any big catastrophe.

3. Be yourself. You don't have to take up something out of peer pressure or family pressure or self induced pressure.

4. Do not expect or accept any concessions for being a women. You really don't need it.

5. Handle emotions well. Not to say that all women are fragile but my observation is most of them are.

6. Working or Homemaker but understand the finances well. Don't be fully dependent on husband/father/siblings. They can make bad decisions too.

7. One specific thing for adolescent/young, be cautious about life. Decisions made out of thrill, emotions like love/anger can impact lives of self as well as near and dear. 

Healthy Fear

In a world that is becoming arrogant and fearlessness is treated as a virtue, I am here trying write the virtue of healthy fear.

Fear of Law:  Every citizen should have fear of Law of the state. This conscious fear is what keeps the crime rate down and helps the society with providing a conducive environment for peaceful living. The moment this fear goes down among people, the order gets perturbed and it becomes difficult to lead a happy life.

Fear of Failing the Parent: This is what keeps many kids to work hard and progress in life. This fear is helpful in multiple front including the studies and conduct. I kind of had this fear on most part of my student life and I can say looking back today that this fear was the major motivating factor for me to get into premier institute like BITS pilani. 

Fear of Spoiling Self/Family Repute: This fear is closely related to above but more importantly this drives the conduct. This fear keeps a person going in ethical path and alerts him/her at every instance of temptation to deviate from it. A person who doesn't have this sort of fear is a potential candidate for doing down the inappropriate path.

Fear of society: Lack of the fear of society has its own repercussive impact on the orderliness. We can clearly observe this in today's context where crime in broad day light has increased. While doing a bad deed, it is this fear that controls an urge to boldly commit this.  Eve teasing, acid attacks, public parks turning to romance addas etc are few examples of impact of absence of fear of society.

Fear of Boss: This is what drives many staff to proper goals at organizational level. This could be in many ways respect and fear that makes a staff to put more productive output. Fear of failing my boss in the confidence he vested in me, is the only motivating factor to keep me working in office day in day out.

Fear of Exam: Needless to say this is what keeps a student alert and the Brahmastra to make him study. This is the crucial aspect of current educational system. Personally I feel that the zeal to learn is what should motivate a student to study, but that's become a rarity in McCauley's educational system.

Fear of God: This fear is what keep conscience repeatedly tell us not to commit sins. Absence of this fear is what is going create devils out of humans. Its really difficult to handle these sort of people to ethical route.

Fear of Failure:  Even though considered by many as a bad trait, this fear of failure in a limited/controlled manner is what helps a person to focus on the task and keep him/her to put necessary checks and balances to complete it.
 

Management Traits

I cannot call myself an expert at Management training but having performed that role for few years now, I wanted to document few observations that form integral part of job role

1. Risk Planning:
Preparedness for uncertainties and managing them effectively with out impact to bottomline forms primary expectation from any manager. As part of risk plan, a manager is expected to think of all possible things that could go wrong and identify solutions to avoid or mitigate the impact. In few circumstances the solution can also be acceptance of the risk and adequate communication to stake holders about the risk.

2. Conservatism:
Conservatism forms another important aspect whether it comes to accommodating buffer time/budget or ensuring adequate backups are present for each resource.

3. Relationships:
Working relationships are a must for any person not just for a manager. But managers need also have to have a technique for building and using these relationships to his advantage to meet the bottomline.
Cordial relations with the subordinates, bosses and peer group is going to be advantageous. But need to be wary of the fact that too much of lenience given to subordinates can come in the way of work. Too much of lenience taken from boss can be subject to boss's anger. Also informal/social relationships outside the project/work hierarchy can also be useful in the long run.

4. Result Orientation:
At every stage in the project situation, manager should ensure not to lose sight of the goal/result. It is the responsibility of the manager to work any hurdles in the way to ensure the desired results are achieved.

5. Conflict Resolution:
Conflicts are quite possible in day-to-day workings and some occasions these conflicts can hinder the progress. Manager should ensure the conflicts are resolved amicably in the first place to ensure results are not compromised. In the event of difficulty in amicable settlement, manager is expected to use the authority vested with his role in solving them.

6. Emotional Intelligence:
No denying, managers are also after all humans and are subject to emotional tussles at times. But it is expected that a manager, instead of getting carried away by emotions, must control them and put them to effective use in the delivery of project.

7. Adherence to set policies and procedures:
Managers must respect and adhere to the organizational policies. There might be instances where the personal opinion of a set policy might be negative but that must not lead to non adherence.

8. Ethics:
Last but not the least. manager must abide by the ethical standards and conduct himself as a  role model. This could include things like doing no favors basis personal relationships, not using authority to undermine or harass some one, no misappropriation of funds that are in his spend authority.


 

New Year Resolutions

It is customary for people to start the New Year with a bunch of resolutions. Only time will tell how many get implemented. Irony is that most resolutions hold good for every new year, either because they are work in progress stage or never implemented. So this time around I wanted to document my new year resolutions for record purpose. :-)

Satsang:
I have a handful of friends who are both intellectuals and philosophers in their own right. Every meeting we used to have was a learning experience and had meaningful discussions about life (along with few paltry worldly things) What I missed most in last year was their company due to busy schedules of each one of us. As Adi Sankara says
 Satsangatve Nissangatvam
Nissangatve Nirmohatvam
Nirmohatve Nischalatatvam
Nischalatatve  Jeevanmuktihi

So first resolution is to start meeting up with my good friends more often

Observe Ekadasi in Spirit:
I have started observing Ekadasi fasting for nearly 3 years. Initial days there were few hurdles like my own family ridiculing that I am doing things that are way ahead of my age. I could steer them clear as most hurdles were external. Over last one year new type of internal hurdles started where the observation of fast is not being done by myself in spirit. Few times due to temptation, few other times due to weakness/illness, the norm was not adhered to. Wanted to set corrective action on this parameter.

Reading and Writing:
I owe an apology to myself for not paying adequate attention to my favourite vocations readinga nd writing. The target setting for my self go forward are writing one blog each month, one story (in my tiny notebook) every two months and reading one book each quarter.

Saying No to Procrastination:
In Bill Watterson's Comic series Calvin says he has learnt two important skills for life ie., Procrastination and Rationalization of it. This has been the way most part of last year for me. This year I want to put a cautious policing on ensuring I am not postponing what ought to be done.

Updating and Upgrading Knowledge:
Even though I cannot really say I have not learnt anything last year, most learning has been on the job. The effort needed to upgrade the knowledge was not done adequately. So resolution is to put some efforts in upgrading knowledge on Banking, IT trends. Also getting up to date on current affairs through regular reading of newspapers.

Puja:
Even though a firm believer and have got aspirations of spiritual progress, the efforts in the direction have not been consistent. Want to make a more consistent and being more predictable is the goal for future.

Less Eating Out:
Had suffered health setbacks twice last year due to excessive eating out. Even though not a preferred thing for me, my role of people manager in office has made me to eat out for 1/3rd of the year. Goal is to cut this down lot more in the new year.

Financial Discipline:
By any standard I am not a person with expensive habits or can be branded as a man of financial indiscipline. But first few years of career. I was not fully aware of the power of compounding and the need for financial planning. Now that I am more literate on the area, want to take it into future. Also need to put a check on emotion linked spend habits.

Personal Discipline:
I cant really boast of myself as very well disciplined person. At the same time not very bad at it too. But this is one aspect I admire in few of my colleagues and friends and would like to mend my ways in following aspects
1) Sticking to predictable work hours and better leave planning
2) Disciplined eating habits and resisting temptation
3) Attending scheduled meetings where my presence will add value
4) No work on weekends and spending that time with family and my other vocations like reading & writing
5) No Colas and drinking more water.
6) Lead a stress free life, both from work and personal stand point
7) To extent possible avoid any instances that can cause emotional roller coaster.
8) Lead a stress free life
9) Writing a TODO list daily and sticking to it
10) Taking a vacation each year
11) Continuous assessment on where I stand on the resolutions.
 

Women employment -- My views

Disclaimer: The views expressed are purely my own and have no intent of getting in to any (never ending) argument of whether they are right or wrong.

People who know me from close quarters (which includes my wife and sister) tend to think of me as a staunch critic of women employment. My constant opposition to their personal situations when ever they were planning to get into employment could be the reason. Also usually people generalize the particular situation they see, putting behind the specific details. So wanted to put my thoughts together.

I am for it :

1. When the women doing the job is absolute essential to make both ends meet. With current inflation levels and the cost living, the bread earning is getting tougher for the head of the family when there are more mouths to feed and more requests to cater to. Women stepping forward to share the responsibility is a welcome move.

2. When a woman is specialist/skilled in a particular field and wants to build a career in that field and make a mark both to herself in particular and the society in general. We would not have heard of kalpana Chawla if she confined herself to house.

3. When a woman wants to take a less engaging job to make her spare time to productive use. Her job could mean self employment as well.

4. When there are dependent parents for the woman who needs to be looked after. Now-a-days, girls are being raised the same way as boys by parents, providing them with quality education. In such a case it is not unreasonable expectation that if the girls parents are in finacial doldrum, girl stepping up and contributing to them from her salary. (like the way boy does take care of his parents)

I am not so for it:

1. When a woman wants to take up "a job", just because all her other friends are doing a job. This I mark as peer pressure job or self inflicted pressure job.

2. When she wants to add to the 7/8 digit salary her husband is drawing, esp when she wants/needs to relocate to place away from family to earn that extra buck. This is just greed and there will be no end to this. There are many compromises one has to make on family side to earn that little extra buck like unattended children left to day cares, lack of time together for the couple themselves as both are tired at the end of every work day.

3. Financial freedom. Well I have a mixed stand here. I assume the couple united in holy matrimony are adequately close to have control/access to partners financial assets. I am not denying that practically the earning member might have a bigger say in financial decisions. But I would prefer to think that both converge and agree up on a particular decision. Personally my reaction is same if my wife gifts me a wrist watch using the money she saved from household budget or from the money she
earned by herself. Pleasure lies in the fact that she gifted it than thinking of "whose" money it is. :-)

There can be many more scenarios but I just wrote what came to my mind at the moment. To me understanding "why" is starting point and I do hold an orthodox view that if there is no need for a certain lady to hold a job (apart from peer pressure or self inflicted pressure), I would instead prefer that job to go to needy person which can help him/her support the family.

Premarital Sex - My View

Not usually I try to touch up on topics that are controversial in nature but here I go with one that easily attracts criticism. Just as I always believed, like every one else I had my own right to hold and express my views. Thank God Government did not reduce the age limit for sex by mutual consent. If it had, what it eventually means is the governing body itself encouraging premarital sex legally as marriageable age is 18years. Even today I think premarital sex is not a crime from legal point of view but from ethical stand point it surely is.

1. Youth can easily get carried away thinking they found right person and engage in sex only to repent later that they did commit a mistake. Any person with  conscience will regret for life the mistake done.
2. It is a clear case of cheating spouse if the person fails to marry the one with whom he/she had premarital sex. It is not easy trauma to go through when person discovers that his/her has cheated her/him and usually these things are concealed during marriage.
3. The indulgence can sometimes lead to blackmails at later point time and thus shattering future life for sake few minutes of physical pleasure.
4. There are innumerable sadists in the world who secretly record the intercourse and circulate it on the internet. Thousands (if not lakhs) of MMS scandals uploaded in internet are evidence of just that. This turns the intercourse from a private affair to public entertainment.
5. There is a risk to marriage life of indulgence in premarital affair with a person who is not your spouse. It can lead to many consequences like divorce, unsatisfactory marriage full of quarrels, or even at times suicides by the victim or person indulged in premarital. 

Irony of this entire situation lies in the fact that we had a generation of social reformers who opposed child marriages and now we have a new generation reformers who want the age limit for sex by mutual consent must be reduced.

Yama Niyamas

This is a share froma website I have recently got a chance to read. Courtesy about.com\hinduism

Yamas or Restraints or Don't




1. The first restraint, Noninjury (ahimsa) - not injuring or harming others by thought, word, or deed.

2. The second restraint, Truthfulness (Satya) - refraining from lying and betraying promises

3. The third restraint, Nonstealing (asteya) - neither stealing nor coveting nor entering into debt

4. The fourth restraint, Sexual Purity (brahmacharya) - divine conduct, controlling lust by remaining celibate when single leading to faithfulness in marriage.

5. The fifth restraint, Patience (kshama) - restraining intolerance with people and impatience with circumstances.

6. The sixth restraint, Steadfastness (dhriti) - overcoming non-perseverance, fear, indecision, inconstancy and changeableness.

7. The seventh restraint, Compassion (daya) - conquering callous, cruel and insensitive feelings toward all beings.

8. The eighth restraint, Honesty (arjava) - straightforwardness, renouncing deception and wrongdoing.

9. The ninth restraint, Moderate Diet (mitahara) - neither eating too much nor consuming meat, fish, fowl or eggs.

10. The tenth restraint, Purity (saucha) - avoiding impurity in body, mind and speech.





Niyamas or Observances or Do's



1. The first observance, Remorse and Modesty (hri) - being modest and showing shame for misdeeds.

2. The second observance, Contentment (santosha) - seeking joy and serenity in life

3. The third observance, Giving or charity (dana) - giving generously without thought of reward.

4. The fourth observance, Faith (astikya) - believing firmly in god, gods, guru and the path to enlightenment

5. The fifth observance, Worship of the Lord (Ishvarapujana) - the cultivation of devotion through daily worship and meditation.

6. The sixth observance, Scriptural Listening (siddhanta sravana) - studying the teachings and listening to the wise of one's lineage.

7. The seventh observance, Cognition (mati) - developing a spiritual will and intellect with the guru's guidance

8. The eighth observance, Sacred Vows (vrata) - fulfilling religious vows, rules and observances faithfully

9. The Ninth Observance, Recitation or Incantation (japa) - chanting mantras daily

10. The tenth observance, Austerity and Sacrifice (tapas) - performing sadhana, penance, tapas, and sacrifice.